Simple Goals and Dreams of a Fat Girl, 3rd Edition

I felt it was time to update my list...seeing as it is almost the new year. It's time to make some resolutions and set some goals.
So here it is...The Simple Goals and Dreams of a Fat Girl...3rd Edition.
1. As a fat girl there are little things that I can't do like a skinny girl can. It may seem silly, but it is something that I have missed doing for a long time. And, that is...cross my legs like a lady. I have recently been able to pull up my foot to the top of the other knee (if you can picture that) and have it stay...which was very exciting! But, that's not enough...I want to cross them all the way.
2. I want to lose enough weight to be able to see my bones again. I have been fully padded, well insulated and soft and cuddly for many, many years. I forgot what my jaw-bone, collar bones, shoulder blades, ankle bones and knee caps look like. I realize I won't be as soft to lay on...but that's what pillows were made for!
3. I want to sit in a seat and not take up any space of the seat next to me. I look at these skinny butt people and notice that they have room to spare on their seat. And, I am just in awe and wonder what that would be like. I bet my kids would appreciate that too. :) "Mom! I don't have any room...scoot over!" would be a thing of the past.
4. I want to ride a bike and sit on the seat and not have it disappear (nice visual, huh?). Bikes are SO uncomfortable, but it looks like so much fun to ride!
5. In my last list, I said I wanted to run in races. Well...since then I have realized that I really don't like to run. And, maybe it's because I still have a lot of shakin' goin' on and it hurts a little. So, we'll see in time. Plus, marathon running looks SO boring to me anyway. However...I do want to compete in the messy obstacle courses like Dirty Dash. Now, that looks FUN!
6. I want to buy cute shoes! I want Doc Martens...big green boots and big clunky sandals. I want lots of cute sandals...all different styles. I want Vans and Converse and dorky shoes... lots of fun colors and designs.
7. I want to be able to watch my kids play sports or whatever activity and not be embarrassed to go out there and play with them. Besides that, I want to be able to keep up with them.
8. I want to run up the stairs.
9. I want to get rid of my C-Pap machine.
10. I want to be able to wrap a normal sized towel all the way around myself and have it overlap.
11. I want it to feel natural and normal to eat healthy.
12. I want ALL the fast food places to go out of business!
13. I want to experience life where food isn't constantly on my mind.
14. I want to buy clothes from a normal sized department.
15. Most importantly...I want to get rid of my Diabetes and get rid of all the medication that I take!
So, there it is...that's all for today. As I get smaller and as time goes by, I'm sure I will think of many more.
I do have to say that, even though I am oversized, and there are many things that I wish I could do, I still love myself regardless of my size.
I have made a lot of bad choices when it comes to eating. Some decisions were because of my age and thinking I was invincible...some were because of stress and using food as comfort...and some were just because it tasted good. Whatever the reason...it doesn't matter. What matters is, that I become aware of my choices and the consequences of them. Don't get angry because it may not be what I want. Look at the whole picture...how is this moment of food bliss going to affect me in the long run? Is it worth it?? That is a question that I ask myself frequently. And, I have to be honest...a lot of times I shut my "reasoning" voice up and eat it anyway. This is something that I'm working on. It's hard, but I know that I have to be strong and tell myself no sometimes. Not all the time...I do need some food bliss. I just need to keep it within reason.
It's all about moderation and balance. Yep, those words, that haunt me and taunt me. But...I promise, I will learn how to become one with them!! And...that, my friends...is my New Year's Resolution.  So, here's to another AWESOME year!!