Have you ever looked in the mirror and were just disgusted with what you saw? I have.
When I find myself having those thoughts, I have to stop and take a moment and look beyond the reflection and find the beauty within.
We shouldn't focus on "Do I like what I see?" Young beauty fades. We get older and our face, our hair and our body changes. That's life. I don't look 17 years old anymore and I won't ever again. My face is getting wrinkled, my hair is getting grey and my body is...well...we won't go there. ;) This can sometimes be a hard reality to accept.
Lately, when I look in the mirror it is especially hard for me because I know what I have done to my body over the past year and it pisses me off. And...it's nobody's fault but my own. But, I have to look past that and not get in a mindset of hating myself or beating myself up because that will not help me turn things around. It's near impossible to find the motivation and desire to make something better if you don't love it. Which is why it's important for me to look in the mirror and find the things that I love. When we love something, we take better care of it.
I think it is very important to take some time and think about all the things you love about yourself. It will be a sure mood lifter and it will put things into better perspective as to what is really important. It's not about having flawless skin...it's not about having a "Barbie" body...it's not about being able to know the answer to every question...it's not about being the "best" mom with the "best" kids. All of these things...and much more...put an unnecessary stress on all of us because we are trying to reach this unrealistic expectation.
The media doesn't help either. I feel so sorry for all of our kids...boys and girls...that are growing up with all this garbage thrown at them of how they are supposed to look and act. It's ridiculous!! It puts so much pressure on our kids to live up to these images and if they fall short, they are teased and bullied. But, since I can't control what other kids do or say, I have to teach my kids how to respond. I tell them that we will always be in a minority in some form or fashion, whether it be because of weight, race, intelligence, height...whatever. There will always be something that someone will make fun of, whether it's your name, hair color, clothes, how you speak, how you walk, etc...kids will find something. Not all kids, but some. I don't sugar coat much with my kids. I lay it all out there. If they know what to expect, they are better equipped on how to handle themselves and the situation. I tell them that they are perfect the way that God made them and to not let what others do or say bring them down. Stand strong in what they know is right...their true friends will respect that and follow their example.
As a mom, it is easy to preach this to my kids because I've lived it. I know what it's like to be teased. And, I was able to let it roll off my shoulders most of the time and bring humor to the situation. Honestly...I am the one who is my biggest "bully" and critic. We are our own worst enemies, right?? Everyday I beat myself up over something. It's usually about food, but not always. If it's not about food, it's about "Am I doing enough?". Am I reading enough to my kids...am I doing enough housework to feel like I've contributed to my "job" as a stay at home mom...am I providing enough service to those I care about...am I spending enough time with my kids...the list go on and on. And, usually...in my mind...the answer is No. I believe that we all think that we should/could do more.
Two years ago I had a couple of sessions with a life coach and what he said stuck with me. I don't always follow what he said, but it's always in the back of my mind. I made a statement to him saying that I get mad at myself when I don't get everything done. What I meant by that was...when I set a goal for myself, I will usually underestimate the time needed and the difficulty of it. So then I won't be able to finish what I started. And, this frequently leads to feelings of inadequacy and frustration. What the life coach said was, "What is everything?" I was totally dumbfounded. I couldn't answer him because I didn't know. I mean..."everything" changes based on the task at hand. And, what he helped me realize was that there is no "everything" because the task or goal is constantly changing/evolving. Therefore I am setting myself up for "failure" without realizing it. What he said struck a chord so I now end up redirecting my thoughts to this conversation all the time. It helps to keep my head clear and my expectations achievable.
So...in honor of Valentine's Day...which quite honestly, is just another day to me...I am going to show a little love to myself. I have done this before, but I feel it's time to do it again. :)
Top 10 Things I Love About Myself (in no particular order)
1. I love that I usually have a smile on my face and I am in a good mood most of the time.
2. I love that I am level-headed and can look a situation and examine all sides of the story.
3. I love that I am approachable and people feel at ease talking to me.
4. I love that I'm witty and can come up with comebacks right away.
5. I love that I have a great imagination which allows me to be creative in many things.
6. I love that I am easygoing because it helps to keep the peace quite often.
7. I love that I am honest and looked to for advice because of this...I'm not always good with tact though. :)
8. I love that I can cheer people up and make them laugh.
9. I love that I am a kind person with a big heart.
10. I love that I can always find the positive in any situation and can keep an optimistic attitude.
Top 10 Things I Love About My Appearance
Hey...even though beauty is on the inside, we can still acknowledge the beauty on the outside. So this is what I find beautiful...not the media. ;)
1. I love my big lips...they are nicely proportioned.
2. I love my curly hair...cute little ringlets.
3. I love my big eyes and the color of them. Hazel eyes are beautiful too. :)
4. I love the little wrinkles that I have recently acquired when I smile.
5. I love my skin and how nicely it tans in the summer.
6. I love my fingernails because they are strong and grow prettier than fake nails.
7. I love that my body is curvy and has a nice shape (not at the moment, but it's there!)
8. I love that I have a carefree and fun style.
9. I love my pinky fingers because they are crooked...it adds character to my hands.
10. I love that when all is well...I am quite the looker! LOL! ;)
So...there it is. Cheesey, I know...kinda feels borderline conceited. But...still fun to do! I challenge each of you to do the same! Show a little love to yourself...you're worth it!!
