Summertime blues...

Having the kids out of school for the summer is REALLY screwing me up!! Don't get me wrong...I adore my kids and I really enjoy having them home, but I can't seem to get a good routine down for myself.  I never realized how much I like routine until now. I used to think, "How BORING! I hate routines! I just want to be able to be spontaneous and do what I want, when I want!" Well...that way of operating just doesn't work for me anymore!
I have noticed as I get older and my kids get older, my brain gets overwhelmed a lot quicker. My ability to focus and remember things is getting worse, and I can't multi-task as well as I used to. And, that can get really embarrassing at times, because I could be talking to someone, and not hear anything they say because something distracted me. I HATE that! Then I miss out on a whole conversation, and feel like the worst friend ever. But, sometimes, I just can't help it...I must have ADD for adults. No wonder Sydney and I can't sit down and play with each other for very long...we both get too bored with each other! LOL!
Even though my schedule is totally out of whack and changes frequently, I think that I have still been able to keep up on my exercise routine for the most part. I would like to do more, but some days, I am just too tired. Which, I really struggle with letting myself have an extra day off. I feel like I am letting myself down or being lazy when I do. For some reason, if things don't go the way that I had planned in my head, I really have a hard time adjusting or accepting it. For example...this is my "normal" weekly exercise routine: M-circuit/intervals, Tu-Aqua, W-circuit/intervals, Th-Aqua, F-trainer, Sa-cardio, Su-rest. And, if something comes up to where any of those days don't happen the way I have planned, I get all out of sorts and then think that I have completely blown it for the week! I don't know why I think that way...I just do! I mean, even if I get a different kind activity in...it's not the same...so it doesn't count. And, this is what I think to myself all the time. As my trainer puts it...I have what they call "All or nothing thinking". If it's not exactly how I think it should be, I have a hard time accepting it. It's really frustrating and can be emotionally exhausting as well. Because I am always coaching myself and telling myself that it's ok.
Lately, I have been in a funk, which I really don't like! When I get in these funks...I crave food!!! It has taken all of my will power and constant self pep talks to control myself. I have had the munchies like you wouldn't believe! You'd think that I was either PMSing everyday or that I have been smoking a ton of weed! I am super proud of myself though! Normally, by this point, I would have totally given up. But, even with being in this funk, I am still focused and dedicated to reaching my goals. It just may not happen as quickly right now, but I know once the kids go back to school, I am hitting it full force!
This is my goal...to continue to push myself out of my comfort zone and really see what I am capable of! I want to see just how fast I can get this weight off, build some awesome muscles and be in the shape of my life!! In a healthy manner, of course! I don't want to hurt myself in the process!
I tend to get in these moods and then I snap out of it. No worries though...I am still in this whole-heartedly! I have come too far to give up!!
All of my little victories are enough motivation for me! I put on a shirt the other day that used to be too tight and now it's loose. It is such a weird feeling because that hasn't happened in such a LONG time. I almost feel like it's not real, like I'm living in a dream. I have never accomplished something this great for myself and I'm not even finished yet! I can't even imagine what I'll feel like 6 months from now!! I can't wait!!