Move over food, you're being replaced!

So, today I saw my Life Coach, and it was another eye-opening experience, I must say. Yay!...Success! Now we're getting somewhere!
The ongoing questions that I repeatedly ask myself are, "Why do I obsess about food?" and "Why do I do this to myself, knowing how it affects my health, mind and body?" Well, the answers to those questions, were the focus today.
He was trying to get me to express how I feel when I eat. And initially, all I could answer were the feelings that I have after I eat. So, he made me close my eyes and envision myself sitting down, with food in hand and taking that first bite...Now, how does it make me feel? Which, honestly, I feel silly doing those kinds of exercises. But, I did it anyway. And, after I did, I realized that the feeling I get the strongest, was that it relaxes me...it makes me feel good. It's almost like taking a "chill" pill. A reaction like, "Ahhhh, much better..." Whenever I am in a mood that I need a pick me up, that's where I go...food. Who doesn't want to be in a constant state of "feeling good" or of being "relaxed"? So, of course, I am going to turn to food.
He helped me understand that, what I have done is develop this "belief system" about food. A belief system that food is the one thing (that I can control) that makes me feel good. And, since I believe that it makes me feel good, why wouldn't I want to eat all the time...right? If I eat, than I will feel better. If I eat, then I will be relaxed. The one thing that we haven't uncovered yet, is why have I developed this "belief system". And, why is it with food? Well, heck...I don't know!...you tell me! And, that, I am sure, will be addressed in future meetings. ;) So, let's stick with what we know now.
After uncovering this much, he then had me take those "beliefs" and disect them. Does it really make me feel good? Does it really help me relax? After thinking about it, I realized...well...no, not really. Why not? Because, I can't really relax when I am always thinking about how many more pounds I'm going to have to lose after eating all this. And, then it doesn't make me feel good anymore.
So, again, why do I have this belief system? I don't know. All I know now is, that I am aware of it. I don't understand it, but I am aware of it. So, now I will take what I've learned today and make a change. There are lots of other things that I can do to make me feel good. Since, I now know, that is what I want, I will find other ways to get it. One thing that makes me feel good is being artistic, so I will start there.
I have gone away from being creative over the past several years. And, it wasn't one thing in particular that I enjoy...I love to paint, draw, put things together, create things...you name it, I am not picky. And, I  always remember the feeling I got when I completed a project. The sense of accomplishment and "job well done". It has always been something that I'm good at and I am usually proud of my work. That is the "feel good" that I am referring to. That is the "relaxed" feeling that I get when I lose myself in whatever creative project I engage in.
I have NO idea how food took it's place, and right now, I don't care. Right now, I am going to substitute food with a paintbrush or something of that nature and see where I go from there.
I am trying to figure myself out...I want to get to the root of the problem and make this a life change forever! I don't want surgery. I don't want special foods or drinks or pills to be my lifestyle. I want to be able to get my mind fixed, so I can see food in a different light. I want to "Eat to Live" not "Live to Eat". Right now, I am missing out on a lot of things that I want to do! And, I am tired of it!!
So, I am excited to meet back up with my "artsy fartsy" self again! Michael's and Joann's here I come!