Focus, Jill, Focus!!

I am struggling big time this week! Why can't there be a switch, somewhere in my brain, that I can just flip to make me stop doing these things to myself!!
I have been "focusing on me" for about a month. And, it is getting harder and harder to maintain that focus. I am finding all kinds of things that I "should" be doing instead.
I have been keeping up with the exercising though...thanks to some wonderful friends that keep me company!!
But...FOOD!!! Why is it SO hard?! I am a smart person. I know what I should and should not be eating. But, do I listen to myself? NO. I can't just stop at one, I have to eat three. And then, I'm sick to my stomach. Not only from the amount I ate, but from the guilt and anger too. When, will I learn?!
I swear the "devil" that sits on all of our shoulders tempting us...is actually Ronald McDonald and all his little buddies in my case. I wish all the fast food places would just close!
Having no kids all day is great on one hand, but gives me too much freedom on the other. I am someone that doesn't like to hear the word no. I am someone that is used to getting anything she wants. I am someone that gives into herself all the time. When it comes to myself, I am the Queen of Good Intentions without following through.
For some reason, over the past few years, I have gotten obsessed with charts. Almost, as if I don't know how to function without one. It's like my brain is on constant overload. Probably because I have kids. But...my kids aren't babies anymore. It supposed to get easier, right?
One of my biggest problems recently, is my ability to focus. When I do a project, I need complete silence, no interruption. Well...when does that happen?! Never. I want to be able to have a huge chunk of uninterrupted time to focus on the task at hand. If I don't have that, most likely I won't start it. Unless, it's required for something outside of my own projects.
My house is a disorganized mess and it is driving me nuts! I keep looking at the entire house and getting overwhelmed and then, I just shut down mentally and physically The hardest thing for me to do, is to focus on one thing at a time. I want the whole house (including the garage) organized perfectly and spotless in one day. Well, has that happened? NO... Have I even started? NO... My excuse...I am focusing on me... Do I feel guilty? YES!
So...what I have to keep doing is, giving myself "pep talks". Telling myself that it's ok to focus on me.
In my right mind, I know that I am important and I am worth the extra attention, but it is still SO hard to do.
So...from the words of Stuart Smalley, courtesy of Saturday Night Live, all I have to say is, "I am good enough, I am smart enough and Doggonit people like me."
Now...it's time to get back on that horse...