The Results Are In...

When I made the decision to lose weight and get healthy, I was scared. I had to have a heart to heart talk with myself..."Can I do it?", "Will I stick with it?", "Am I going to disappoint everyone again?", "Am I ready to push myself?". And, I was honest with myself. I know that I can talk till I'm blue in the face and say that I'm going to lose weight. But...do I mean it?...Will I follow through with it? Or...is this just another episode of me blowing smoke again? Bottom line was, I knew that I had to do some major soul searching and really convince myself that, this isn't just a quick fix. This decision will be one that is life changing. Am I ready for that?
And...the answer was..."DAMN straight I am!!" I went into this whole heartedly, with a determination that I have never had. It has been such a rewarding experience and I know it will continue to be. I have accomplished so many things that I thought I never could. What an awesome feeling it has been to not only lose weight, but to continue to do so and not give up. Follow through and sticking with something that is really hard...not my strong suit. But...I'm doing it.
About 2 months ago, I started to feel, not like myself...almost like my head was going loopy. I've had setbacks and weeks that I just wanted a little break. But this was something different and I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I was worried for awhile that I was having anxiety problems because everything was bothering me...more than usual. I was an emotional wreck. I wanted to eat everything I saw and a lot of it...and I really didn't care. My desire to exercise wasn't there. Thank goodness for Aimee, because if she wasn't in the picture, I don't know where I'd be right now. She's the one I answer to. She's the one that keeps me focused.
Because of all this, Aimee suggested getting my hormones checked. So, I went and saw her doctor (mine was less than impressive) and gave her my whole life history. She then ordered up all kinds of blood work and also a saliva test to check my cortisol levels. When the results came back, there were a few red flags, but she wanted to retake that blood work before she made any changes. Two weeks ago, the second round of results were in, including the saliva test. This is what we found out. My cortisol levels are out of whack. Cortisol is the stress hormone, and right now, my body is not able to manage stress the way it's supposed to. The cortisol level is supposed to start high in the morning (high energy) and then gradually slope down throughout the day (so your sleepy and ready for bed). Well...mine starts low (no energy), rises till about noon (I'm great, and raring to go), crashes until about 5 or 6 (all I want to do is sleep), then levels out at a high level till bedtime (my most alert time).
The doctor and I were talking about my lifestyle and all my habits. I told her that I usually go to bed real late, wake up at least once to go to the bathroom because of taking my water pill before bed, and get up early for the kids. She said that my lack of "quality" sleep is one of the main contributors to my problem. I have since, been going to bed earlier...trying to get 8 hours of sleep...and I now take my water pill in the morning so I don't get up during the night.
I found out that I have what is called "Adrenal Fatigue". When I looked at the symptoms of this...I nailed a good portion of them. Adrenal Fatigue is brought on by stress...all kinds of stress. And, the most important anti-stress hormone in the body is cortisol. So...since my cortisol levels are out of whack...my body's ability to handle stress is out of whack. Which explains why I feel like I'm going nuts with all my highs and lows.
I am going to quote an article that I read, mainly because they say it better than I can. :)
 "Cortisol works to normalize blood sugar and to suppress the immune system to keep white blood cells from attacking healthy cells...cortisol is the primary regulator of the body's defenses...one of the most common overlooked causes of Adrenal Fatigue is a chronic or severe infection that gives rise to an inflammatory response. Frequently, these infections can reside within the body with no obvious signs....Adrenal Fatigue is the result of acute, severe, or chronic excessive stress that a person's body is unable to properly combat. The ability of the human body to handle physical and emotional stress is essential to human survival, and we have been given a full set of tools to combat stress in the adrenal glands. But when the adrenal glands are not operating efficiently or correctly, the body will begin to handle stress less effectively and symptoms will begin to make their presence known."
One of the reasons why this article jumped out at me was because my white blood cell count was high on both of the blood work results. My doctor said, that means I have an infection somewhere, but she can't see anything based on the blood work as to where. I told her that my allergies have been awful lately and the right side of my head will get sharp headaches and my right ear bothers me a lot... maybe that is this "mysterious" infection. So, she gave me meds to help fight it, just in case that is the culprit. It says in the article that infections can reside in the body without obvious signs. Now it's just trying to find out what's causing my white blood cell count to be high. Because if I have an infection then that will cause stress on my adrenal glands.
When I try to figure out what other kinds of stress I have...the first thing that comes to mind is the aggressive exercise routine I have maintained over this whole journey. My body went from 34 years of not much exercise to a year straight of doing a lot of very challenging workouts on a regular basis. That, for sure, could cause my body's chemistry to change.
I've had a few other stressful things happen over this year, but they were short lived. I also have the stress of balancing kids, home, church and myself...but that's nothing new.
I think just the combination of all the short lived stresses and daily routine stresses compounded with the complete shock to my body due to the weight loss and exercise...in addition to a possible hidden infection...that was enough for my body to step on the brakes and knock me over.
So, based on everything that I've read and been told, all I should have to do is allow my adrenal glands the chance to rest and get back on track. That doesn't mean that I am going to sit on my butt everyday! It just means that I have to be more cautious with what I do until they get better. Unfortunately, this could be a lengthy process.
You know...this whole thing, just makes me laugh though because I am NOT a very sympathetic person. So, it is hard for me to believe that I can't just "suck it up" like I normally do. The fact that there really is something causing my head to be loopy is actually very surprising yet strangely comforting. I thought that this was all in my head, and I needed to just get over it and push through it. But apparently, this issue was making that VERY difficult for me to do. So, psychologically, this diagnosis was a good thing. Now that I know what the problem is, I can deal with this setback better. I can be more compassionate and patient with the fact that it's not just lack of willpower that's causing my weight gain. I am dealing with hormones and that can cause all kinds of mood swings.
So, right now, Aimee wants me to just focus on maintaining my weight until I can get a handle on my emotions. This is very aggravating to say the least. I don't want it to take any longer to lose all this weight. But... I have to deal with the cards that are dealt and make the best of it. Ultimately, my key goal is good health. So, sometimes that means paying attention to details, other than weight loss, to achieve that goal.
I WILL PREVAIL!
I have to get another round of blood work in a month...hopefully that will bring good news. I have already felt the difference that getting more sleep has made. And, I try to be aware of my schedule, so I don't bite off more than I can chew. I am cutting back on my exercise a little. I still see Aimee 3x a week, but the other days, I will listen to my body and scale back if I need to.
I know that all of these little changes will help me "get in my right mind" again, so I can get back to losing weight and get my body back to good health.