Re-evaluating me.

This is how I see myself. I am a 35 year old woman with a 45 year old body and a 25 year old mind. At some point I need to merge those ages into one. And since, I can't turn back time and I don't want to be older than I am...I guess my goal, is to be my current age. Profound, huh?
Well...I am working on changing my body to perform better than a 45 year old. No offense to the 45 year olds that are in awesome shape! ;) And, that mission is going splendidly!
However...convincing myself that I am not 25 years old anymore, is a little more challenging. I catch myself comparing my lifestyle of 10 years ago to my lifestyle now. I'll be thinking...I was much more "chill" back then and life just seemed to be more fun. Why is that?? Uh...could it be that I have 3 older kids that require much different attention now? YEP! Could it be that I have different responsibilities now that require more of my time? YEP! My life is ever-changing and my mind is stuck in the past. I just can't operate that way anymore. Which means I need to take a step back and re-evaluate myself. What is working? What is NOT working? What needs to be changed? What do I need to do to be able to "chill" again?
One thing that I tend to do on a regular basis is over-complicate things! It doesn't matter what it is...I over-complicate everything! Every week I say to myself, "Ok...I need to sit down and make a meal plan, get my grocery list made, get the groceries, come home and prep everything and then I don't have to worry about 'what's for dinner? what's for lunch?'" Pretty simple right? Well...let me just tell you how complicated I make this for myself. I have to be creative and interesting! Who wants the same boring things to eat all the time?? So, I pull out 20 cookbooks, spend 2 hours on Pinterest "researching" to make it fun and exciting for myself and the family. And, by the time I have finished my "research" my brain is fried and I have completely checked out of the whole project. Leaving myself back at square one...totally unprepared and winging it, making it more stressful and usually less healthy come mealtime. I have come to realize that my family really doesn't care. They are happy with food...for the most part. So, why do I stress myself out so much? Make a list of the favorites, try some new ones every once and awhile. And leave it at that.
SIMPLIFY!!!
Another thing I over-complicate is housework...assigning chores in particular. I am a control freak. There is a certain way that I like things done. So, having an 11 year old or 6 year old do it, is a tough thing for me to do. But...if I want help, then I need to let go of that control and teach them how to do it. As Mike puts it, they're going to have to learn to do these things for when they get older, so let them do it. True statement. So...I now have to over-complicate doing chores. I spend 2 hours on Pinterest (gotta love Pinterest) "researching" how other moms handle handing out chores. I find all kinds of fun ideas for charts or jars or boards...so of course, I have to spend lots of money buying the stuff to make these charts...and then I have to spend hours putting it together so it's visually appealing. Only to present it to my kids, that are less than impressed at my mad skills, and then only follow that awesome chart for maybe a week. When...really, all I needed to do was say, "Colby go vacuum the living room."
SIMPLIFY!!!
I waste so much time on unnecessary things. And then I have a hard time letting myself relax and just being able to "chill" because I feel like I need to get these things done. If I would just simplify the mundane things, then it wouldn't always be hanging over my head waiting to get done.
The biggest lesson I need to learn is how to manage my time. Once I figure that out, and I am able to come up with a "simple" plan to get all the necessary tasks done, it will be a weight lifted off my shoulders. Then I can focus on the "fun" things and I can enjoy "relax" time without the guilt. I need to get out of my "25 year old thinking" and be better at forcing myself to do those "boring" jobs that I hate. When I do that, I bet that will make a world of difference in my moods.
Prioritize. No one says that I can't do fun things...I just need to get the other stuff done first. Just like I tell my kids, no playing until your homework is done. I guess I need to practice what I preach.
I also need to stop re-doing things that work perfectly fine the way they are. I find myself constantly wanting to redecorate or reorganize every room. Why?? It works just fine the way it is!! Why do I feel the need to waste the time and money on it. I don't know. It's just one of those things that I have to frequently give myself a reality check before I get involved another project. Mike just rolls his eyes. Understandably so. It's irritating for them because they get used to something and then I change it. But...I am aware of my problem and I am getting much better at stopping myself before it goes too far.
So...I have re-evaluated what I need to do. Now...the next step is to actually do it! That's the tricky part.
I feel it is so important to be aware of myself and my behaviors and not be afraid to admit that I need to change. I know I'm not perfect. But, I do strive to be the best that I can be...I do try to set the best example that I can. And, I also try to not get so wrapped up in how everyone else is doing it because I am different, my family is different therefore we will function differently. And, there's nothing wrong with that.
SIMPLIFY...BALANCE...MODERATION
Those are the 3 words that are forever circling in my brain...just waiting to find their place to settle. My job is to figure out how to make them work for me and create a nice resting spot for them, so they're not such a headache to me anymore. That is why I am always open to re-evaluating what's working and what's not.