I love being a mom!! I love the sweet looks, big hugs, runny noses, contagious giggles, silly questions, ticklish feet, snuggles when their sick, dancing crazy in the car, watching them score a goal, hearing about the most important part of their day and the list goes on and on...
I have been so blessed to have married a man that is such a hard worker and is so good at what he does, that I have been able to stay at home and raise our 3 awesome kids! What a true blessing that is!! I have been able to be there for all the firsts, school events, sporting events, sick days, sick nights...everything. Some experiences are less pleasurable than others, but I was there. And, I am so grateful for that!
Although, I have been there for each one of my kids 24/7 since the beginning...it still doesn't make me an expert on what to do if something is wrong. Kids change...we change. Just when I think I have them figured out, I get thrown a curve ball. I usually have a pretty good idea on how to approach a situation, but sometimes, it just doesn't work. And, sometimes, I have to swallow my pride and handle that situation in a manner that wouldn't have been my first choice.
I have been struggling a lot with Sydney for the past couple of months.
I'll start off by saying that I have a few rules when it comes to bedtime, sleeping in my bed, staying home from school sick, and clinginess. From the moment that my kids came home from the hospital, they stayed in their own room with all lights out and door shut when they went to bed. They do not sleep in my bed unless they are sick or had a nightmare. They only stay home from school if the sickness is extreme or contagious. Otherwise, I believe they need to push through and tough it out. As adults, that is what they will have to do. I really don't like clinginess! I want my kids to be able to transition to uncomfortable, new or difficult situations with confidence and ease. I do love and understand the need of mommy support and love and encouragement, but...they also need to be independent as well.
Now...here is my struggle with Sydney. In December, she got a cold which caused her to lose sleep because she couldn't breathe well. Then winter break came and we were so busy that she didn't have much rest time then either. And, then she got sick again and also got a canker sore which aggravated her (and me) tremendously. So, her lack of sleep and exhaustion was compounding which is now bringing on other issues. All of which I don't have much patience for...and that really does not help the situation! She is emotional...clingy...hyper...having a hard time focusing...repetitive...and will not listen. Bedtime and separation have become a nightmare and extremely frustrating for me! This is where I am being forced to rethink my "rules". I am stubborn and I don't like giving in. But...I also
understand that what Sydney is going through may need me to be flexible.
Bedtime...when this first started, I stuck to my guns and forced her to stay in her bed/room without me. Which created a lot of crying from her and yelling from me. I didn't want to create a future problem if I gave in. After much thought and prayer, I realized that I was causing more stress on her and not helping the situation. So, now I am either laying with her or staying in her room until she falls asleep. She is in a room by herself, she doesn't feel good because she's tired and I realize she just needs the comfort of mommy right now.
She still is not allowed in my bed to sleep. And, I still make her go to school even though every morning she complains that she's tired and doesn't feel good.
Clinginess. This one...is... out of control!! I am beyond frustrated with this part! I don't know what to do. Unless, someone helps me and pries her off of me she will not go. At the moment, I am sympathizing with the fact that she's not sleeping well and is tired, so it's just a reaction to that. So, I'm not addressing the issue too much, I am giving in more than I would like. I am waiting to go back to the Ear, Nose and Throat Specialist to determine if she can get her adenoids and tonsils out. They were swollen last time we went and I think if she can get those removed, she will start sleeping again. I have tried lots of different methods to help her sleep...Melatonin, Dreamlight, soothing sounds, lavender...and the only thing that comforts her is me.
I know that once she gets back on track with her breathing and sleeping, everything else will fall into place. I just hope that removing her tonsils and adenoids is what she needs. If not...I have NO idea what to do. Another option that was thrown at me was taking her to a Psychiatrist or Neurologist, but I feel that there is a different answer.
Right now, it's a waiting game. I feel so bad for her. Am I doing enough? Am I approaching these issues in a way that is helping her? I...just...don't...know.
But, what I do know is...that even though all of this is very stressful for me, I am not sitting down and stuffing my face! That was one thing that I just realized. Ordinarily, I would eat and eat after being in her room for over an hour frustrated because she wouldn't go to sleep. But, this time I haven't! Yay for me!! Small victories. Now if I could just get some relief for my little girl. :/
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