Emotional eating...

Emotional eating.
No matter how much weight I lose or how much therapy I get...I will always struggle with emotional eating. Food is my addiction. It will be a constant battle for me, the rest of my life, to make the right choices to get healthy and stay healthy. This is a fact that I have realized and reluctantly come to accept. That doesn't mean that I like it... it just means that I have accepted it.
I guess I should feel lucky that I chose food as my drug instead of some of the other options. Growing up I was around all sorts of things, and I was able to make the right choices then...so I can certainly make the right choices now. The hard part about being addicted to food, is that I have to eat. It's not like narcotics or alcohol or smoking, where you can give it up entirely. I need food to survive. I just need to be able to control my impulses and over indulgences. Easier said than done though!
One of the goals/emotional exercises that my trainer assigned to me this week, was to journal my thoughts whenever I get an "emotional eating attack". Which is incredibly hard for me to do. For the most part, I am a very positive person and I don't like to let anybody into my negative thoughts. I feel like a whiner...that I need to get over it, put my big girl panties on and deal. I look around at other people's issues and then look at my blessed life...and I realize that I need to stop complaining. My issues are so minor compared to some. And, that usually helps me get over it and get out of my emotional funk. It's not always a guaranteed fix, but it definitely helps.
Eventhough, I didn't want to do this homework, I did. I sat down and wrote out all of my negative thoughts. I also had a great talk with a great friend that helped me put things into perspective. The constant mind war that I have is, allowing myself to take the time needed to take care of myself. By doing this, a lot of my other projects and chores get behind. My house is always a mess and it really drags me down emotionally. This is something that my friend helped me put into perspective. The question is...What is more important, being healthy or having a spotless house? Well, we all know the answer to that...I am just having a hard time being ok with it.
Fortunately, I have a family that doesn't expect a spotless house. Thank goodness! They would much rather see me healthy. And, if that means that we are walking through cobwebs all over the house, then so be it! LOL! Just kidding!! It's not that bad...yet. ;)
Anyway, once again, I just have to be patient with myself and focus on my first priority...ME!
Once, soccer season is over and the kids are out of school, I will have a lot fewer places to be. Right now, my day is filled with small chunks of time to get things done, and I don't always manage my time well. That's another lesson I need to perfect, time-management. I'll add it to my list of things to do this summer! ;)