I often sit on the couch and close my eyes (usually when the kids want something) and then reflect on my life. And, each time I do, I am more grateful for everything that I have. But, what I am most grateful for, are the relationships that I have with the people in my life.
I think, that I am more fortunate than most because, I have been spoiled my whole life in countless ways. I grew up with the most awesome parents...I married the most awesome man...I have the most awesome kids...and over the years I have made the most awesome friends.
What a great life I have!! I am SO blessed!!
I feel, it is so important to not get too consumed in my own drama because it will keep me from seeing what really matters. And that is, the people that I love. I am pleased to say, that the only things I really struggle with...that I feel are worth mentioning...are my constant battles with eating right and exercising. Luckily for me, those are fixable! And, the best way to help me fix them, is to have good people around me.
Another important factor in being able to grow as a person...is to be aware of how I am behaving. Mike is not a very vocal person, especially with anything that is stressing him out. So, I feel, as a wife...that isn't always easy to live with, by the way...it is important for me to check in on him. I frequently give him the green light to vent and let me know if I am irritating him in any way. I expect him to say no of course. But, on the RARE occasion that he says yes, that helps me know how I am behaving. Since, he is the one that sees all my moods...lucky guy!...I trust that he knows what he's talking about.
And, boy...do I ever have some GREAT people in my life. And, they are all SO supportive to me. I know how frustrating it must be, to watch me do these things to myself, and constantly say I'm going to do something about it, and then I don't. But, that doesn't keep them from loving me and sticking by me.
My parents... They have always been so encouraging and have joined different programs to be my buddy and help cheer me on. They do all they can to help educate me or motivate me or just offer advice. I had a fantastic childhood with two extremely loving and giving and understanding parents. They were such great role models in so many ways...and still are. They help me out in so many ways that they probably don't even realize.
My husband...what a trooper! As a wife that has gained over 150 lbs in her marriage, it is so hard to feel beautiful and desired. But, I tell you what...he sure knows how, to make me feel beautiful and desired. And I am SO grateful for that!! He listens to me at all hours of the night. He would do absolutely anything for me. He is my rock and my true soulmate.
My kids...they are my life! And, I am their mom, no matter what size I am! They don't care. Of course, they have their worries too and they want me to play with them more. But, to them, I am just the extra squeezably soft mom with the big smile and even bigger hugs!
My friends...Growing up, I usually only had one really good friend at a time. I am better with one on one than I am with a crowd, so it was more comfortable that way. But, I now realize that I really missed out. Lately, I have gotten close to a lot of different people. And, I cherish each of their friendships for a variety of different reasons. And, I am just overwhelmed by the encouraging words and offers of support that they have given me.
I know that I can't do everything myself and I am so thankful to have so many people in my life to lift me up and keep me going.
My cousin just said to me, that she envied my love for life and ease for being happy and that I made being happy look so easy. All I can say is, that, it is a choice that I make everyday. I enjoy being happy and I try not to let people get me down. If I have a problem or worry, I talk about it. My husband is well aware, that if I am mad or worried about something, I can't sleep until it's resolved. Life's too short! Plus, it makes me happy to make others happy and I can't do that, if I'm not happy! Pretty profound huh?...or maybe just plain confusing. And, it makes me even happier to make people laugh! :)
Here are some of my favorite sayings...
Live Well...Laugh Often...Love Much
Laughter is the Best Medicine
You Don't Stop Laughing When You Grow Old...You Grow Old Because You Stop Laughing
Life is like a box of chocolates...you never know what you're gonna get
And...my most favorite...Do as I say, not as I do!! :) I like that one because I have kids. ;)
Monday, October 10, 2011
Monday, October 3, 2011
Reality check...
Today is the day that I am going to face the music, and step on that scale...
I decided that it was past time for me to go out and buy a new scale because the past 2 weeks I have been slacking BIG time! Although, I have still been walking and doing some X-Box exercising (thanks to Kinect Sports), but my body is used to that now. So, if I want results, I need to STEP IT UP! Blah!!!
So...here it is...are you ready?... I'm not!!
I stepped on the scale and I was half expecting it to say, "Whoa Momma! Get OFF!!" Luckily, it didn't say that. But, after several times of stepping on, stepping off, figuring out how to work the stupid thing...there it was...the dreaded results. 366.4 lbs! All I can say now is, "SHIT!! What the HELL did I do to myself!!" (pardon the language, I could have said a few other choice words, but I didn't).
I must live in denial. Or, maybe it's my problem with Unrealistic Optimism. Either way, everything that I have been doing has caught up to me. I mean, really...how could I be so naive, as to think, that my behaviors would have a different result. I was hoping, I guess. Who wouldn't want the luxury of eating anything they want and not have a weight problem, right?
You know, we all have a mental image of ourselves in our head. And, my mental image is definitely not me at this weight. It is me, probably about 100 lbs lighter. Which would explain why I run into corners and knock over things with my butt while walking through a store. I misjudge my size all the time! I don't know why I have that image in my head. I mean, I have been over 300 lbs for over 7 years, so it's not like it happened just recently. Maybe... it's me, not accepting reality or just being ashamed. Or, maybe, it's just the fact that I avoid mirrors and cameras, for the mere reason that I don't want to know what I look like now. Sometimes, that fantasy world, is a lot more pleasant to be in. But, the fact is, my fantasy won't have a happy ending if I don't face the reality of things.
Over the past 5 weeks, I have been working more on behaviors and triggers. I have been bringing in some better habits gradually because I am notorious for rebelling if I am forced to do too much. Yes, I know, I am an adult, I need to grow up! :) But, my history with any weight loss or exercise routine is that, I am all gung-ho for a few weeks and then I lose motivation. Which I see happening right now.
When I went to Weight Watchers, they talked about having an "anchor". They also gave each new member a tiny red stirring straw at their first meeting. That straw symbolized, "the last straw"...what was "the last straw" that made you join Weight Watchers? Which, for everyone, it is different. What was that turning point, that finally makes you realize that you need to do something. Now, the anchor, is an object that you carry with you, to help remind you of that "last straw". For some, it's a lucky charm or a keychain. I think for me...as much as I don't like it...it would be a picture of myself currently. That would be the reminder I need help me make the right choices. Since my mental image is a lie, I need that slap in face to remind me of what I have done to myself.
Thankfully, I have a HUGE support system! I have my family and SO many friends that are rooting me on. I have exercise partners, exercise routine planners, recipe helpers and little hugs and kisses that keep me on track. I am so blessed for that! I just need to remember to root myself on! :)
So, to all of my supporters...this is my promise to you...
I WILL do everything in my power to get myself under control and
I WILL NOT QUIT!!
My goal is to be 250 lbs or less by my next birthday (July 15) . That means I need to lose about 120 lbs in 9 months and I KNOW I can do it!! My reason for the specifics is because Boulder City has a zip-line, and the weight limit is 250 lbs. And, I want to go on that zip-line!!! And, anyone else that would like to join me, I would love it!
So, please keep me in your prayers and keep rooting me on!!
I decided that it was past time for me to go out and buy a new scale because the past 2 weeks I have been slacking BIG time! Although, I have still been walking and doing some X-Box exercising (thanks to Kinect Sports), but my body is used to that now. So, if I want results, I need to STEP IT UP! Blah!!!
So...here it is...are you ready?... I'm not!!
I stepped on the scale and I was half expecting it to say, "Whoa Momma! Get OFF!!" Luckily, it didn't say that. But, after several times of stepping on, stepping off, figuring out how to work the stupid thing...there it was...the dreaded results. 366.4 lbs! All I can say now is, "SHIT!! What the HELL did I do to myself!!" (pardon the language, I could have said a few other choice words, but I didn't).
I must live in denial. Or, maybe it's my problem with Unrealistic Optimism. Either way, everything that I have been doing has caught up to me. I mean, really...how could I be so naive, as to think, that my behaviors would have a different result. I was hoping, I guess. Who wouldn't want the luxury of eating anything they want and not have a weight problem, right?
You know, we all have a mental image of ourselves in our head. And, my mental image is definitely not me at this weight. It is me, probably about 100 lbs lighter. Which would explain why I run into corners and knock over things with my butt while walking through a store. I misjudge my size all the time! I don't know why I have that image in my head. I mean, I have been over 300 lbs for over 7 years, so it's not like it happened just recently. Maybe... it's me, not accepting reality or just being ashamed. Or, maybe, it's just the fact that I avoid mirrors and cameras, for the mere reason that I don't want to know what I look like now. Sometimes, that fantasy world, is a lot more pleasant to be in. But, the fact is, my fantasy won't have a happy ending if I don't face the reality of things.
Over the past 5 weeks, I have been working more on behaviors and triggers. I have been bringing in some better habits gradually because I am notorious for rebelling if I am forced to do too much. Yes, I know, I am an adult, I need to grow up! :) But, my history with any weight loss or exercise routine is that, I am all gung-ho for a few weeks and then I lose motivation. Which I see happening right now.
When I went to Weight Watchers, they talked about having an "anchor". They also gave each new member a tiny red stirring straw at their first meeting. That straw symbolized, "the last straw"...what was "the last straw" that made you join Weight Watchers? Which, for everyone, it is different. What was that turning point, that finally makes you realize that you need to do something. Now, the anchor, is an object that you carry with you, to help remind you of that "last straw". For some, it's a lucky charm or a keychain. I think for me...as much as I don't like it...it would be a picture of myself currently. That would be the reminder I need help me make the right choices. Since my mental image is a lie, I need that slap in face to remind me of what I have done to myself.
Thankfully, I have a HUGE support system! I have my family and SO many friends that are rooting me on. I have exercise partners, exercise routine planners, recipe helpers and little hugs and kisses that keep me on track. I am so blessed for that! I just need to remember to root myself on! :)
So, to all of my supporters...this is my promise to you...
I WILL do everything in my power to get myself under control and
I WILL NOT QUIT!!
My goal is to be 250 lbs or less by my next birthday (July 15) . That means I need to lose about 120 lbs in 9 months and I KNOW I can do it!! My reason for the specifics is because Boulder City has a zip-line, and the weight limit is 250 lbs. And, I want to go on that zip-line!!! And, anyone else that would like to join me, I would love it!
So, please keep me in your prayers and keep rooting me on!!
 |
| This is my "anchor" |
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Family pictures
Anyway, I thought I would post some of my favorite "studio" pictures. We have lots more, but this is all for now... ;)
 |
| Brett with Jill, Colby with Mike 2002 |
 |
| Brett (Lion) Colby (Bear) 2002 |
 |
| Brett on the left, Colby on the right 2002 |
 |
| Colby on the left, Brett on the right 2007 |
 |
| Colby on top, Brett in the middle 2007 |
 |
| Colby on the left, Brett on the right 2007 |
 |
| Sydney 2007 |
 |
| Colby on the left, Brett on the right 2008 |
 |
| Colby in the back, Brett in the front 2010 |
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)