Small victories...

About 5 years ago our family took a road trip to Kansas City, MO to see my family. And, one thing that Kansas City has, that I love, is an amusement park called Worlds of Fun. I lived in Kansas City (Independence) until I was 8 years old, and my dad used to take me there ALL the time. So, whenever I go back to visit, I have to go there.
Well, this particular visit to Worlds of Fun, didn't leave a very good memory for me. See...there is this ride called the Detonator...it's one of those rides that scares the crap out of most people. But, not me!! It's like a free fall...you get buckled into a seat attached to a tall tower...ride it up all the way to the top (looking out and down the whole way)...then get released and plummet all the way back to the bottom. It is SUPER scary but SUPER awesome! So, of course I got in line to ride it. And, after standing in line for what seemed like forever, I finally get to the front of the line. I walk over to my seat...sit down...and then wait for the guy to come over and lower the contraption to secure me into my seat. I am so anxious and excited to go on this ride, I can hardly stand it! He finally makes his way over to me and proceeds to lower the restraint, but is unable to push it in close enough to snap the buckles together. He kept trying with all his strength to push all of my fat in enough to buckle it...I even tried to adjust how I was sitting...but nothing worked. So, after a few minutes of everyone watching this, I had to get out of my seat in front of everyone (still watching me) and then exit the ride. Humiliated.
Needless to say, ever since this experience, I have been hesitant to get on any kind of ride that looks like it has small seats or has a buckle that is anything other than a lap bar. It's really frustrating because I LOVE amusement park rides! So, instead, I would just stand on the sidelines and watch...looking happy and excited for everyone...but on the inside I'm am SO disappointed. Not to mention, angry and pissed off at myself for allowing food to take away my fun!!
In December of 2010, we went to Disneyland. And, Space Mountain was one of those rides that I thought, if I would try to ride it, I would relive that humiliation of not being able to get buckled. So, I didn't even try...I was too afraid of getting all those stares again.
Over spring break, we decided to take another trip to Disneyland. So, once again, I was posed with the dilemma of "Can I fit on Space Mountain?". And, since I have lost several inches and pounds over the last few months, I had a good feeling about it. So, I'm standing in line with Mike, Colby, Brett, Sydney and my dad... and all of them are so supportive and excited for me to be able get on with them. Finally, it's my turn...I proceeded to step into the seat...I slowly lowered my big (getting smaller) butt down into the seat..and, guess what?!?...I FIT!!! I was so stoked!!! I finally got to ride what I wanted to with my family!!
This small victory is one of many that I have been experiencing lately. And, what's even better is, my family got to experience it with me. I was able to see Sydney ride it for the first time. I got to sit next to Colby and hear his reactions (screams) to everything. Priceless.
Just think...this is still just the beginning. I have only lost a fraction of what I need to lose. And, I am already seeing a side of myself that I have never seen before. Mike even commented on it. This time around I have a determination and a drive to succeed. I am in this whole-heartedly. What an incredible journey this has been so far. To be able to get myself under control and stop being a prisoner in my own body...I never thought it would happen. I have been overweight most of my life, so it's hard for me to imagine myself otherwise. But, with these small victories it starting to get easier. I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings...I LOVE IT!