Staying on track...keep it going!

It's amazing how quickly your body adjusts to what you're doing to it.
Last week was a not so good week for me. For the most part, I am in a relatively cheerful and positive mood everyday. I feel that I am good at looking on the bright side of things. And, I also try to stay aware of where my head is and where my thoughts are. By doing that, I am able to keep myself under control. But, last week I was struggling. Wednesday, especially, was a bad day...and I don't really know why...it just was. My emotions were all over the place. I think, with the combination of PMS, Mike being gone and just being tired...I needed a break.
Normally, on Wednesday's, I walk for about 20-30 minutes, do a little X-Box Kinect dance and sports, then do my 30 min. circuit training, and end with 10 minute interval walking (I do this on Monday too). But, last Wednesday, I didn't do any of it. I was tired and in a terrible mood and I just needed to have a day, that I didn't have to worry about anything. And, it was really tough for me to allow myself to do that...I was having a war in my head all day about it. But, one thing that my trainer has said...is that I have to listen to my body and if it needs to rest, then let it. As long as, one day doesn't turn into several days.
So, I was listening to my body. But, then I wanted to EAT! And I did!!  What started as a day of rest, ended in a day of eating and not paying attention to points. And, to be completely honest...I was OK with that.
I am allowed 52 points per day to eat...which is actually a lot. Weight Watchers calculates the points each person is allowed by their weight and a couple of other factors. So, since I am so heavy, I get more points. As I lose weight...I will lose daily points. Anyway, getting back to Wednesday...I ATE where I wanted and what I wanted. And, at the end of the day, I decided to calculate what I ate just to see how many points I used. I ate a whopping 95 points that day!! It's unreal how easy it was too...no wonder I have gained so much weight over the years! After I saw that, I looked at my weekly extra points and my activity points and luckily I was covered. But, I was still worried about my weigh-in. And, surprisingly I lost 1.8 lbs that week!!
It took me several days to get out of my rut. I didn't exercise for the next few days. I did journal what I ate and stayed within my points though. I also wasn't as strict with what I ate either. But, I made a promise to myself to get back into the swing of things again on Monday. I have worked too hard and done too well to get lazy again! I am seriously excited about the path that I am on right now and I am SO ready to get rid of ALL this weight!!! I don't want to screw it up! I have a tendency to give up when things start getting hard, but I WILL NOT let myself do that!!
So, I fulfilled my promise and got back on track Monday! Yay Me!! That's a huge step and a big deal for me! What was surprising was, when I started my circuit, I could tell that my body had been lazy for several days. It didn't take long to lose some of the strength and stamina that I had built up over the past 2 months. But, I pushed through it and have been keeping up with my schedule all week.
My favorite quote right now is "I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it." That is SO true!!
So, here is my progress so far in 11 weeks...
~Total weight loss: 25.4 lbs.
**I have lost something every week except one week that I gained 1.6 lbs.
~Total inches lost: 20.25" over my whole body
**breakdown is: waist 9.5", hips 4", chest 4" and the rest in my arms and thighs
~I have been soda free the whole time!! Yes, I do miss it...the taste of it. :(  But, I don't miss how it made me feel. Now, I get a BIG glass of ICE COLD water...lots of ice! It really quenches the thirst and sometimes satisfies the temptation to snack.
~I hugged Mike and was able to clasp my fingers together!!
~I have more energy and my brain feels more alert.
~I can tie my shoes without passing out from holding my breath while I bend over!! ;)
This list will keep growing as time goes by...and I can't wait to see what else I'll be able to do! :) :)

Organized Chaos

You ever get the feeling that you're running around in circles and not getting anywhere?? or...
You are repeating yourself over and over again and nobody's listening?? how about...
You have too much to do and not enough time to do it??
Well...I am answering a big, loud YES to all three of these questions!!
I am frustrated and tired of feeling like I'm getting nothing accomplished. Not with just myself, but with my kids as well. For the past 2 months I have been diligent and consistant with my exercising...which is great! And, I am not changing that because I am losing inches, weight and I feel a ton better! So, I have to figure out a way to keep exercising and be able to maintain my "Domestic Engineer" duties at the same time. I like to call myself a "Domestic Engineer" because it makes me feel smart. ;) Hey...Mike is a "Computer Engineer", so why not?! Anyway...I have a hard time dividing my attention to multiple things sometimes. So, I have come up with some systems for the family that will eliminate a lot of my headaches.
Lately, the boys' grades have been dropping. Brett is now in a reading program at school. And, Sydney is behind on sight words and learning to read. Where the problem exists mostly is, the few hours right after school. It's like a free for all...which is entirely my fault...afternoons are my worst time for attentiveness (that's when I drag the most). The kids come home, do their homework, sometimes read and tend to snack all afternoon, which leaves them not so hungry for dinner. They've been spending way too much time playing with electronics. My downfall is that I am not consistant or strict with anything other than homework. I have been slacking too much and they are paying the consequences...it's not fair to them.
In addition to that...my house is in constant disarray (in my eyes). I feel like I can't keep up with everything. It's frustrating! And, I have a hard time giving chores to the kids for various reasons.
In order to explain why...let me take you back to my childhood. Growing up, I didn't do chores...my mom did them all. So, assigning chores is something foreign to me. I've actually had to ask Mike how to delegate chores. I don't know what 10 year olds or a 5 year old should and can do. In my warped mind...only I can do it the right way. But, I realize that, having that attitude is not helping them or me.
So, what I have done is, made a schedule. I have taken that few hours after school and dedicated time for everything. Now it feels less chaotic every day because the kids know what to do.
Here is a break down of all the new systems that I have put together for my family.

1. The After School Schedule~ I have broken down the time from when we get home from school until bedtime...kind of like an appointment book. Granted, things will come up that will throw us off...I understand that. But, this will at least give them a visual of what is going on each day. The electronics are a HUGE distraction to everyone, so I have cut that down big time!
Sorry, it's hard to see. So, what I did was, I scheduled time for homework/activity (they always get done with their homework fast, so I'm having them do extra activities to fill up some time, much better than being glued to video games). There is reading time, snack time and just an overall detailed break down of the afternoon/evening. They also have time scheduled to help Mom with chores! :) :)

2. Activity Sticks~ this is what they do after homework if they get done super fast. Depending on how much time is left in our schedule, will determine how many activities they do. If they like what they pick they can do it the whole time or if they don't, they can switch after 10 minutes. I schedule 30-60 minutes for homework/activity time, depending on the day.

Some of the activities are: puzzles, reading workbook, handwriting workbook, make up a story and write about it, word search or suduko, play a board game with Mom, play-doh, computer learning game, play catch with Mom, play an active game on the Kinect like "Sports", draw a picture, etc.

**I try to keep the activities educational or something to use their imagination or exercise.

3. The Chore Jar~ on Tuesday's and Thursday's, when we don't have soccer or Scouts, they help me with chores for 45 minutes. They each pick a slip out of the jar and do it, once they're done, they pick a new slip.  Most of the chores I broke down by room because it's less boring and everyone gets a chance to do it. Here are some chores that I put in the jar: dusting, cleaning doors and door frames, cleaning baseboards, sweeping, cleaning up the backyard, cleaning mirrors, cleaning toilets, wiping down the leather couches, etc...

4. I also put together a Daily Checklist. this includes everything that they need to do in the morning...before the TV gets turned on! That way there is no distractions and they are ready for school on time. There is also a night check list, which helps wind them down. These checklists help eliminate me telling them over and over again to do these things every morning and night.
One fight that they have is who gets to pick the books for family reading time, so I also designated each kid to a certain night for that...no more fighting, just look at the chart. :)

5. I came up with a system in which they earn tickets. This not only helps me out with chores, but it also teaches them the importance of working to get something. They choose a chore that I have on the list (different from the Chore Jar) and earn a ticket. They then save and redeem the tickets for toys, money, electronics time during the week, a "No Chores" pass, etc. They can also lose tickets if they don't check off everything on their Daily Checklist or they have bad behavior that day (lots of fighting with each other or things like that).

6. The "Ransom Box" (not my idea...I liked it so much I stole it)~ the purpose is to eliminate all the junk that gets left around the house, such as; shoes, toys, books, DS's, Wii and X-Box remotes, etc. etc. etc. I am tired of picking up after them every night!! So, if they leave something out...it goes in the Ransom Box. And, then they have to pay me one ticket to get it back.

So far, everything has been working well. The boys were really excited about earning tickets and have been coming up with different things to redeem them for. Brett has even tried to work the system to get more bang for his buck (that kid is always thinking). Sydney just follows the boys lead, she doesn't quite understand it, but she still goes along with it.
Hopefully, these systems will work the way that I'm hoping for and it will help all of us get things accomplished.

Mind games...

     

This week has been a tough "mind-game" week. I catch myself frequently having mind wars in my head. It's an exhausting battle of "I should have done more" and "I'm too tired, my body needs to rest"...back and forth. And this week, the "I'm too tired..." argument won a couple of times. Which I was beating myself up for. Because, in my mind, I can always push myself a little harder. But...sometimes my body just says "No, I need a break."
I have been working my body in ways that I never have before and I think sometimes it kinda goes into shock. This week I was SO tired...everyday. Which irritated me because...I have goals...I have plans...I have work to do...and this tired crap is really messing things up!
Each week my trainer has me set goals for 4 catagories. Nutrition...Exercise...Emotional...and, Spiritual.
And, if I don't follow through with the goals that I set for myself 100%...I feel like I've failed. It's an "all or nothing" state of mind. Problem is... I tend to bite off more than I can chew. And, sometimes, I am not realistic with my expectations. Which, can lead to disappointment...a lot.
But, truth is, I have to allow myself to have bad days...and, to struggle with certain challenges...and, to learn how to adjust to something new. Yes, it sucks...but that's the way of life...not everything will come easily or naturally.
There is a fine line between setting goals that will push myself and setting goals that are unrealistic or overly ambitious. If I choose that latter of the two, I just have to be ok with it if I fall short, and then reset the goal to something that I am currently capable of. And, each week I am capable of a little bit more. This is a constant learning process and things are always changing.
I am just afraid that if I allow myself to mess up once this week...then next week I will allow myself to mess up twice...and so on and so forth. And, I don't want to get back into my old habits. So...again...this is the constant battle in my head. What really worried me this week was, that I just wanted to sit down and eat a HUGE greasy cheese pizza from my favorite place, Enzo's. I haven't had many food cravings since I started...until this week. The "emotional" eating is emerging again. Hopefully, I will get over this hump soon and get my mind back on track. I am still sticking to my exercise plans and journaling what I eat and watching what I eat. I just have to be strong and not cave into the mind games. Wish me luck... I know I can do it...it's just gonna be hard!