Kudos to me!

   

I just have to give myself a GIANT pat on the back! I am SO proud of myself for the determination I have had over the past couple of months. I have consistantly been eating healthy, exercising and journaling what I eat since I started Weight Watchers. That is unheard of for me!!
Whenever I joined WW in the past I would eat healthier, but I would not be faithful with journaling. I hated it! It was too time consuming and a big pain in the butt! But, honestly, I think I hated it mainly because I usually cheated and didn't want to write it down. And, for those of you that know me...you know that I am VERY honest! Which means that my journal had to be honest or it would just nag at me! So, eventually, I would start losing a little less or gaining when I went to the meetings. All because I wouldn't keep track of what I ate. I got over-confident and thought that I didn't need to because I had been doing it for so long. Well...after losing a little less and then gaining, I would then start maintaining my weight. That frustrated me, so I would quit. Then I would GAIN big time because I got mad at myself for failing again.
And, exercise was never something that I did. Sure, I would walk every so often or go to the aqua class whenever my schedule would allow it. But, that was it. I had EVERY excuse in the book as to why I couldn't. And, they were all lame. Truth is...I was scared to exercise! I mean, let's face it...I get stared at because of my size. And, I didn't want to subject myself to that. We all have our insecurities...mine is my weight, obviously. So, I would feel like there was a huge spotlight on me whenever I would walk into a gym or even whenever I would take a walk down a main street. This fear kept me from following through with any of the goals that I made for myself involving exercise.
Well...the tables have turned. Now, I don't give a rat's A** who stares at me when I go to the gym! And, I now journal everything that I eat! Maybe it's because I'm older and wiser now! ;) lol
The exercising part has helped me out the most. It has helped me to make smarter food choices, which in turn has made it easier for me to journal..because now I like what I am writing down. And, after I exercise, the last thing I want to do is eat crap and take away all the benefits of the hard work I just did.
My trainer has been a TRUE blessing to me! I just have to give a big shout-out to McKell for telling me about her!! McKell, you are AWESOME! Anyway...my trainer knows exactly what I need and exactly how to push me. She is so encouraging and educates me about everything from fitness to nutrition. It has been SO helpful. I am really enjoying exercise because she keeps it new and fun and changes it up for me. I love that! I get bored doing the same thing all the time! Plus, I am losing inches, so I am noticing the little changes a lot quicker than I would with losing weight alone. The little changes like...it being easier to tie my shoes, being able to hug Mike a little tighter and just overall feeling better.
One thing that I have to remind myself of though, is to relax and allow myself to mess up. There are days that I am TIRED and I just don't want to exercise and that's ok. I will make up for it the next day. I am really trying to be real and not expect myself to be 100% all the time. By giving myself that ok, it doesn't feel like there's as much pressure. I do want to lose this weight quickly, but I am not going to make myself miserable in the process. Don't get me wrong...I will not allow myself to get lazy, but I will recognize if I need a day off. If I want to eat a little more, I do, because I have extra points that I can use. But, I will not allow myself to go over that.
This past week I lost 5 lbs!! Which really brought my spirits back up after my gain last week Yes, I know it was a small gain, but I still was bothered by it.
I have now hit my 5% goal and received my 20 lb star! YAY ME!!
All I can say is...I AM ROCKIN' THIS! And, I can't wait to experience a lot more changes in the weeks to come!