It has been one year since I decided to get weight loss surgery, so I wanted to start from that time and journal about this WHOLE experience so far. Mainly because, when I get old and senile, I'll forget and this will be my memory. Plus, when I was researching weight loss surgeries, I liked reading other blogs explaining their experiences. It was helpful for me to understand what to expect.
I have been overweight my whole life. Lots of ups and downs...way more UP's by far. Weight loss surgery was always looming over me, but never an avenue I wanted to take. In my early twenties, I was in the 200's mostly. In my late twenties to my early thirties, I was in the 300's. At 37 years old, I hit 400 lbs. By age 40, I weighed in at 450 lbs...my highest recorded weight. You see a pattern here??
In January 2018, I saw a general doctor about an umbilical hernia that I needed repaired. This doctor was very upfront and honest with me...which I appreciated. He said he wasn't comfortable doing surgery on me because of my size and health problems. He referred me to another doctor that also does weight loss surgery. He asked if I had ever considered getting that. I said no because I knew the surgery was only a tool and that my head is what the root of the problem was. The surgery could not fix my thoughts regarding food. I left the office with an appointment to see the other doctor and a new thought in my head. "Is it time? Has it come to that point?" I had a lot to consider. What are the pros and cons? I'm rapidly getting more health problems and losing my ability to do everyday tasks. I know I need to fix my mental issues with food, but will losing weight quickly help with that? Will seeing the weight drop and regaining my independence help motivate me to change my bad habits? I just don't know. I DO know that something needs to change.
In February, we got together with all our other families to celebrate birthdays. All the boys and kids went downstairs to hang out leaving all the ladies upstairs. It was my mom, aunt, 2 cousins and a dear family friend just talking about our lives. My health got brought up and I told them I was considering getting the surgery. Every one of them thought that would be a good idea. It kinda surprised me, especially how on board my mom was. I mean, it's a major surgery and I'm her only baby. But, they all explained that the surgery is what I need to drop a considerable amount of weight quickly in order to get all my other health problems under control. Then I can address the mental issues with therapy. So, with all that love and support, it gave me the green light and courage to make that big step.
I didn't end up using the doctor I was referred to...I wasn't very impressed with him. Luckily, one of my other aunts just had the Gastric Sleeve done and she really liked her doctor. So, I had a consultation with him and liked him a lot. We decided to do the Gastric Sleeve for me as well because it was less invasive and safer due to my size and health issues.
Next step, insurance. We have fantastic insurance, so I wasn't worried about coverage. What I was wondering about was what they would require to be done before they'll cover the surgery. I had to see a doctor to go on a Medically Supervised Diet for 6 months. This was very relaxed. No super weird diet to follow, the only requirement was to lose 5% of my weight...22.5 lbs. No problem. 😉 I weighed in at 450 lbs and I had been on insulin for a few months by then. This doctor took me off insulin and put me on Victoza bc that drug would help supress my appetite...which it did. He advised me to go on a very low carb diet. I did that, which helped me lose 16 lbs in one week! But...I slowly started to eat carbs again so my weight loss tapered off some. I was still able to lose enough weight within that 6 months to be approved for surgery. Thank goodness. I never gained at weigh in, but my losses weren't as fantastic as that first one.
I had to see other specialists too...a sleep specialist being one of them. So, I got a sleep study done because I have Sleep Apnea. The insurance company needed an updated test for their records. This test is difficult because the technician scheduled to watch you sleep attaches wires all over your head, face and body to monitor everything that is happening during your sleep. Super uncomfortable and so hard to actually fall asleep in order for them to get the results that they need.
Next specialist...a Cardiologist. This one SUCKED! I had to get a stress test and an ECHO done. I think that's what the tests were called. 😕 All I know is that it was painful and it pushed me to a near panic attack. I had to be injected with a drug that would elevate my blood pressure...A LOT. During which, a technician would be giving me an ultrasound to watch how my heart was doing. No treadmill test for this 450 lb body...thank you. I choose this method, which I'm not sure I would do again. Anyway, the elevating blood pressure felt like I was suffocating and ready to explode. The ultrasound was super painful because due to being a large woman, the area under my breasts gets rashes due to sweating. I try to keep it dry with powder, but that only works so well. The technician had to use the ultrasound wand right on the tender areas under my breast in order to get the pictures she needed. An hour of digging, twisting, turning in the same spots OVER and OVER again...and not always aware of when the gel had wore off was almost more than I could handle. By the time she was done, I was bleeding, in tears and SO done with this test! Thank the Lord they got what they needed and this test was marked complete. ✓✓
Those 2 tests were the worst. I also had to take a super long written test given by a Psychologist to make sure that I was in my right mind. This test was dumb and kinda stressful. A lot of the questions were duplicated but worded in a different way. So, I kept second guessing myself wondering how I answered the other question, the whole time driving myself crazy. Mission accomplished. I'm nuts. 😵 Somehow, I passed that test. LOL
Ok...so now it's October. My 6 month waiting period is done. It's showtime now. First step to my cutting day is...the LIQUID DIET. Two weeks before surgery... but I ended doing more than that. And then 2 weeks after surgery. That's right...ONE MONTH of NO real food, no big bites of anything, no chewing of anything other than popsicles. Thankfully, by the last week, the nurse took pity on me and let me eat applesauce, Greek yogurt and Cream of Wheat to help with swallowing the nasty tasting crushed medication and chewables. That was much appreciated! The 2 weeks before surgery, by following this diet, I lost 26 lbs! 😲 Note to self...liquid diets are awesome. This brought my total weight loss to 47 lbs. I ended up gaining about half of that back after surgery due to fluid retention.
It's the week before surgery and the big thing on my mind right now is...Pampering. Yep. I'm going to be out of commission for a while, so that calls for a much needed pedicure and face waxing. I mean, come on, if I'm going to feel like shit, I should at least have pretty toes, nice eyebrows and no mustache, right? Not to mention, a relaxing massage to take the edge off. No guilt. 😎
Now...it's the day of surgery! I am more excited than anything. I am a very optimistic person, so I don't overly fret about things I probably should. Mike and my parents were worried enough for me. I can't express enough, the love I have for all those who wished me well, prayed for me and checked in on me. I am so blessed with such a huge support system of family and friends. 💗
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| YUM!! Bottoms Up! |
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| This picture really doesn't show how badly my arms were bruised up. Both arms and hands were covered. |
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| This is my belly bloat from after the surgery. |
Monday comes along...keep in mind, I have been on a possible too high dose of medicine for about 5 days now. The doctor calls, at the end of the day and confirms that I was on too much blood thinner. He lowered my dose, but by this point my body had already started going through the damage caused by this without my knowledge. As far as pain is concerned, I was fine up till this point. Monday is when I started to feel it. I knew that gas was going to be an issue, I knew that the internal pain medicine had probably wore off and I hadn't had a BM in almost a week. Given all those issues, I didn't think much of the pain. I took my Hydrocodone and Tylenol as scheduled and realized they were not providing much relief. The nurse instructed me to walk around to get the gas out and take over the counter stuff to help with having a BM. I finally did, but that didn't help the pain. Each day it was getting worse no matter how much a tried to walk. I was doubled over in pain, crying so hard I would hyperventilate. Mike would have to talk me down to slow down my breathing. The pain would shoot through me suddenly causing me to wail out. I never do that. Mike and the kids would just watch me, helpless with worry. Nothing helped. Moving and getting up was excruciating. I would even get pains while I was sitting. By Saturday morning...yes, this went on for 5 LONG days, my body was done. I had noticed I was getting more pale through the week, but I didn't really think much about it. By this day, I was near passing out when I got up, I got a flood of heat through my whole body and I was beyond exhausted with little effort. I knew I needed to go to the ER.
We called the surgeon to inform him of how bad my condition had gotten. All week, we were calling the nurse to see what more could be done, so they were aware of what I had been going through. But, just like me, they didn't know of the brewing blood thinner problem that had taken over my abdomen since the week before. They were advising me, each time we called, based on a normal Gastric Sleeve surgery recovery.
So, I get to the ER. Miserable. And, to make matters worse, I could tell I had a UTI in addition to everything else. I was in so much pain all over. They wheeled me to triage, started an IV and took me to a room. Moving from a wheelchair to a bed was so hard and painful. They were doing all kinds of tests while I was just praying for some kind of relief. And of course, the nurse tried to put pain meds through my IV and what a surprise nothing was going through. Really. Come on! I'm dying here! My nerves were shot, I had reached a point in my mind that I have never felt before. The nurse was twisting and turning my IV trying to find that 'sweet spot' to get the fluids to move through. Nothing. She called another nurse. Nothing. What was probably just minutes seemed like an eternity.
Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I needed air or something. The walls were caving in, my level of anxiety was through the roof. I sat up suddenly which startled the nurse and concerned Mike. He told me to sit back. I didn't listen. I HAD to get up. I HAD to strip down because I was so hot. I began to hyperventilate. I walked towards the door to the chair. I didn't know what I wanted, I just needed to move. While I was heading towards the chair and could not catch my breath and then a thought went through my head that terrified me. I thought 'this is it. Is this it?' I honestly was afraid for my life at that moment. Mike, God bless him, was able to calm me down, telling me to take deep breaths and focus. I sat in the chair and was able to regain my composure. After a couple minutes, two other nurses that have a better track record with starting IV's took over that job. They were both so compassionate and kind, it helped calm me even more. The second nurse was able to find a vein. By this point my surgeon showed up. He saw me sitting in the chair barely dressed and visibly shaken up. He instructed me to get back in bed, so I did. They started administering fluid and pain meds through the now functional IV. The doctor told us that the CT showed 2 belly bleeds and the blood work showed my Hemoglobin (blood level that carries oxygen through the body) was half what it should be. So my surgeon ordered 2 units of blood for me, by the end of my stay I received 3 units. After all that drama, the nurse came back to drain my bladder (that was SUCH a relief) to check for a UTI. Sure enough, I had that too. Lovely.
After all day in the ER, I got admitted and taken up to my room. I ended up spending 5 days in the hospital getting my body back to a stable place.
So, let me explain what happened. Because I take a blood thinner, I bruise easily with any kind of rough handling or fall or bumping into something, etc. During the surgery, the surgeon makes 5 incisions to use laparoscopic tools to perform the procedure. I am sure he is not able to be too gentle with all the work that needs to be done in there. One incision is for the tool used to cut the stomach and pull out the section removed. In this area (based on the CT images) there was a large hematoma that formed (big internal bruise). I also had an umbilical hernia that was repaired, which required a 6th incision. This is where a second large hematoma was formed. As everyone knows, bruises hurt. Especially large ones. That is why I was in so much pain that whole week, I had two huge bruises on the inside of my abdomen that I didn't know about. To make matters worse, I was given too much blood thinner...remember that? Well...bruises are blood suckers, they absorb blood. So, here I have two big bruises in my abdomen surrounded by really thin blood. Those bruises are having a field day soaking it up all that blood. Hence, my hemoglobin level plummeting, causing me to become anemic.
Luckily, the doctors figured this out, got me the help I needed which allowed my body to recover. It took several weeks for my levels to get normal, but they finally did. I am so thankful for how wonderful everyone at the hospital was during this time. It still took me awhile to not feel like crap though.
All this happened in the beginning of November and really put a kink in my weight loss progress. By the beginning of December I was back down to the weight I was right before surgery.
I was finally seeing the light and feeling better and ready to get things going!! The surgeon instructed me to start exercising, so I joined the YMCA to have access to a pool. Nothing better than moving this body in water. It felt so good to stretch and twist and do some cardio with the ease of being weightless. Apparently, I was twisting and stretching so much that I injured my knee creating an extremely painful Baker's Cyst. The cyst finally healed up but then I began feeling a new pain, which turned out to be a torn meniscus and some strained ligaments. Great. This whole period with my knee was so frustrating because I had finally recovered from the other crap and was ready to rock this weight loss.
So, because of all the issues after surgery and dealing with the pain of my knee, I haven't been able to get the maximum results of the honeymoon phase of the surgery. The first 3 months are the best for big time weight loss. I'm really bummed about that. What really has me worried is that I deal with stress with food. This month, I have noticed some of my old habits creeping in. So, I have made plans on how to address this and nip it in the bud before things get worse.
My knee surgery is done now and I'm darn near normal working condition. I got an extra special and much needed boost when I started seeing weight loss on the scale again. The whole month of March I have been yo-yoing the same several pounds. Yesterday I finally weighed less than my lowest weight which was in February. I hope that I can continue on this journey with no more setbacks and forward motion. I am so tired of obstacles. I would like a clear path for awhile
Here are some pictures of me before surgery and some now to show the progress so far. They are not flattering at all. The before pictures were actually 2 years ago. For some reason, I didn't take pictures when I started this process. I was probably a little heavier before surgery than what these before pictures show. But, there is still a difference. And, I can move so much easier now and I have a lot more flexibility and energy.
My starting weight was 450 lbs. I am currently 358.5 lbs. 91.5 lbs gone so far!! 😃
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| Before |
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| After. I look so old! |
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| Before |
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| After |
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| Before |
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| After. My butt. UGH! |
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| Before |
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| After |
As you can see, my hair is so thin now! I HATE it. For the past few months, it has been falling out in handfuls!! NO JOKE! HANDFULS! It has finally stopped, but I haven't noticed any regrowth yet. I'm praying that it'll grow back! My nails are so weak now too. I used to have great hair and gorgeous nails and now they both suck. SIGH. 😞
Here are a few other pictures to show the progress...
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| Yesterday |
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| A couple years ago |
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| July 2018 |
Even with all the setbacks I've had, I have NO regrets!! I feel SO much better now than I have in a LONG time!! I can't wait to lose more weight and feel even better. I know I will always deal with the mind games and emotional torment, but we all have our struggles and this is mine. It could be WAY worse, so I'll take it. The rewards of overcoming challenges are priceless. And so is fitting into a chair with arms without my hips being squeezed to death. 😉
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