In August of 2011, I started this blog with the intention of creating a journal to document my different challenges, emotions, frustrations, accomplishments, etc. during my journey of the dreaded task of losing weight and getting healthy. I have always been a very open and honest person and I write better than I speak...in an articulate sense. At least, articulate to me. 😉 So, it's how I like to express myself and get it all out there. I may inspire people. I may disappoint people. I may make people cry or laugh. I may surprise or relate to people. Whatever it is that I do, this blog is therapeutic for me and part of the process in this journey to good health...in all aspects of life. Hopefully, I never offend or cause anyone to have negative or ill feelings of me.
There is one topic that I have always tried to avoid talking about because it's really not in my nature to be preachy and it's just something that I have always had conflicting feelings about. So, it is hard for me to articulate my thoughts to express my feelings. Plus, I have many, many close friends that it could affect the way they feel about me. Which I am very fearful of. But...again, this blog is about MY journey and I will always keep it real, and this is something that is affecting my progress to good "emotional" health currently. To some it won't be a surprise, but to some it'll shock the heck out of you.
Religion. This has been a major part of my life for the last 10 years. It started about 16 years ago, but didn't pull me in completely until 10 years ago. It has been a whirlwind experience and one that I have struggled with the entire time. I have always been up front with my upbringing and how I got introduced into the church. I have always had certain beliefs of my own, not ones that were forced upon me or part of my childhood.
As I entered into adulthood and began to think about the next chapter of my life, I started to question religion and how it works. Is it something necessary to complete me as a person? Is it something necessary to have in my future child's life? I didn't have it in my childhood and I had a great childhood. And, I think I turned out pretty good, if I do say so myself. 😄 But still, I wondered about it. Mike's family was religious, so here was my opportunity to investigate it. What's so wonderful about being part of a religion, the Bible and everything else that goes along with it?? I was leery and very standoffish for quite awhile, even with having the curiosity about it. It was no walk in the park to teach me or convince me of anything. I started off slow by going to church with Mike's family on occassion...which I hated and thought it was hokey. Too much singing and extremely boring and 3 HOURS, really?! But, all that aside, there was a feeling that I had while I was there that was very comforting. So, I stuck with my desire to learn. Mike was cautious with what he taught and how much he pushed. I don't like pushy people. In fact, that approach will make me less likely to cooperate. Mature, I know. 😛 Anyway, to sum it up I made the leap into the world of organized religion.
Fast forward about 7 years of slightly active participation to 'What the heck. Let's start going every Sunday'. Well. Can we just say, culture shock? This isn't as easy as I thought it would be. Still boring. Still way TOO much singing. Dresses?? Make-up?? Ick. Am I sure I want to do this?? Then I meet some wonderful people and I connected with them and then...I got sucked in. Ok. Fine. Let's play this out for awhile. How bad can it be? I'll learn the preachy part of this religion stuff and see what happens. After being there for a few weeks...I get pulled into a room and asked to accept a calling. 'Wait. Hold on a minute. You serious?? I don't even have a crease in my scriptures yet...I don't even have scriptures yet! A calling?? I guess. Sure, why not.'
Over the next 8 years, I got lost in many callings and made great friendships. I became so close with so many wonderful people that have taught me so much over the years. I have grown and matured as a woman, a mother, a wife and a friend with the influence of these great people. But, what I didn't get, by no fault of theirs, was lost in the preachy part, the scriptures, certain beliefs of this religion. I tried so hard to believe, to have faith. I would watch my friends and see their emotion and love for the gospel but I just didn't feel it. I tried to convince myself otherwise, but it just never felt right. I have been struggling internally over this for a LONG time. I won't go into detail over what I don't believe in or agree with. But, it has come to a point that I just can't pretend anymore. I don't hate the church by any means. There are just some things that I could never grasp or latch onto. I've tried.
So, what has kept me silent and pushing along with the church loving persona for so long? First and foremost, my family. What will Mike think? He already knew of my skepticism towards a lot of things within the church. And whether he agrees or not, has always encouraged me to do what I needed to be happy. He is incredibly supportive. But, it still bothers me to not be on the same page as him with something so big. We're always on the same page. And, how will this affect our kids? Secondly, most of my friends are active, church loving and very dedicated to the church. How will they see me now? I don't think the church was ever something that defined who I am as a person. My crazy personality is ALL my own! In fact, I've had to tone down A LOT of my personality because of the church! LOL. 😜
So, what's next? This is the hard part. I know what I want, but it's not that easy. I have our kids to think about. And they know what's going on, I'm very honest with them too. The boys are at an age that they're questioning things themselves. This is extremely hard on Mike. Which I hate. I have cried and cried about this for a long time. It kills me to see him go to church without me. But...again, I have to be true to myself. And he totally understands that and wouldn't have it any other way. I believe as a parent you have to set an example, and I don't want to set one that teaches the kids not to stand for what they believe in.
I am not in a good mindset with the church right now and I don't want my attitude to influence the boys. We, as a family are trying to figure out what's best. As parents we have the job to raise our kids and teach them what's right and push them to do hard things, to try new things and to be open minded. But, as they get older we must also allow them to express themselves and make hard decisions, stand up for what they believe in. Our boys are doing just that and I am happy to see it. But, it doesn't make our job as parents very easy especially since Mike and I have different views right now. I have tremendous respect for Mike and his beliefs so I will support him as much as he supports me. I just hate that what I am going through has put this added stress on him. But...honestly, the boys are 15 years old, I'm sure most teens go through this. Question is...do we force attendance and risk resentment or do we allow flexibility and have them experience the choice and consequence of their actions. Just don't know yet.
Ok. I got off track a bit. Now going back the my journey part of this post. One thing that I do on a regular basis is take the time to reflect on my choices and ponder about what is making me happy, what is stressing me out, what is working and what is not. I have slowly been pulling away from the church for some time now. Because of this, I have to accept the hard truth and make that difficult choice to do what I feel will benefit me emotionally at this point in my life. Who knows, in time I may have a change in heart, but for right now this is what I feel is right for me.
That hardest part for me having to make a tough choice that not only affects myself but also affects the ones I love...is disappointing those that I love. I'm sorry to anyone that I have let down.
To summarize myself in a spiritual sense...I am more of a free spirit. I have faith in many things and I don't feel I need a structured outline to follow to be spiritual. I am happy with that. It has taken me a long time to admit that and a long time to come to terms with that. But, I already feel a weight lifted by finally taking that step to be true to myself.
This is definitely a journey full of speed bumps, detours, dead ends, big hills and crazy curves, but it's all mine. I have come to my current fork in the road and chosen the path for which I feel is right, I am strapped in tight (with lots of compression I might add 😬) and ready to go.
Thursday, June 1, 2017
Tuesday, May 9, 2017
Trying to stay positive...
Be careful what you wish for. Knowledge is power. Ignorance is bliss. I am feeling all of these right now.
I have been searching for answers for a VERY long time and I have finally received them. And the info keeps coming. And it's getting more and more depressing the more I learn.
I have always had a feeling that besides the water retention, I was gaining weight much quicker than I should be. I hated saying that because I didn't want to be seen as someone that is in denial of their actions. I know I eat like crap and I eat a lot and I don't exercise...I'm not blind. But...I will gain 14 lbs in a week just like that and I have gained over 100 lbs in a year more than once. That is just...A LOT. I mean, seriously, I don't gorge or eat obscene amounts of food everyday. Sure, some weeks are better than others. But...really?! Is that normal??
I don't know...maybe I am blind to my own actions. But, I really don't think I am.
The last several weeks have been pretty exciting for me because my long search for answers has come to an end.
I have been diagnosed with Lipolymphedema. Initially, it was Lymphedema, but upon further examination and appointments, it has been changed to Lipedema with secondary Lymphedema. At first I thought the Lipedema diagnosis was just a different label because of the criteria I fall under...meaning, I'm not a cancer patient, the retention involves both legs, I bruise easily and I am sensitive to touch. Which all of that is true. But, what I didn't understand until this weekend was that Lipedema effects something totally different than Lymphedema.
"Lipedema is a chronic metabolic disorder of the fatty tissue, of unknown cause, and is marked by a bilateral and symmetrical swelling of the lower extremities, caused by extensive deposits of fatty tissue."
In other words...I have a nice 10 year long collection of fat from my hips down that is stubborn to move and has beat up my lymphatic system causing the Lymphedema to rear it's ugly head and add water to the collection. Yay me. 😩 Think of it like this... my lower body is a bank that will accept deposits but doesn't give out withdrawals.
Lipedema can affect any sized person, it's primarily seen in women and is believed to be associated with hormones or genetics. Which makes sense as to why it appeared when I was pregnant with Sydney...my hormones were all over the place. My diet certainly hasn't helped the condition, but it isn't the main factor. So my assumptions were accurate when I felt there was something else "helping" me gain weight.
Another thing I learned is that diet and exercise are not effective methods to get rid of the accumulated fatty tissue. Wonderful. Because of this, the patients that have Lipedema get discouraged with the lack of results that appear after trying to lose the weight the usual way. Which could lead to depression, becoming more sedentary and gaining more weight worsening the problem. That would be ME. 😖 Whenever I lose weight it is usually most noticeable in my upper body and I get frustrated when my legs aren't showing the results I want. Plus...the extra weight and lack of mobility in my lower body really wear on me. Try walking with your thighs tied together, that's what it's like for me. Or...strap about 3-4 jugs of water on your legs and go up stairs. IT SUCKS!!
The most frustrating part is that fact that not much is known about this disease because it's often seen as obesity and it's the patient's fault for their condition. It took TEN years of complaining and not being heard, yet I was still only diagnosed merely by a series of unrelated problems. I threw out my back, was referred to a Physical Therapist which happened to work alongside a Lymphedema specialist and after hearing my complaints suggested I see that specialist too. I met the right people finally. My doctor is very open minded and shows genuine concern for my health so he is on board for anything. However, his initial treatment, just like all the other doctors, was to address the obesity. Which, honestly, I can't get too upset about because that's exactly what stands out and it's hard to look past 400+ lbs of awesomeness. So...I guess it was a great thing that I threw out my back. Thank goodness for dirty toilets and showers!! Right?
Now...all of this medical explanation aside...how am I doing emotionally with all of this new news and much anticipated diagnosis?
I am a mess. I am feeling defeated. I am frustrated with the wraps and the little progress they're making. I am overwhelmed with the fact that this is a lifelong process. There is no cure. All of the fat that has accumulated over the years is going to be SO HARD to get rid of...IF it ever goes away. All of the hopes and dreams that I've had to have a normal sized body...to fit into normal sized spaces and be able to move like I used to, just seems out of reach now. I am getting a massaging machine and some customized support hose which will hopefully work better than these wraps.
After I started reading more about Lipedema, the flood of emotion came over me like a ton of bricks. I've had an emotional, ugly cry breakdown more than once. Poor Mike was like a deer in headlights, not knowing how to respond. All I need is just hugs at this point. I'm really trying to stay positive, but it's hard. And, I keep thinking how petty I am. There are people that are missing limbs or are paralyzed...or any of those other awful diseases and here I am upset about some extra fat that won't move. How petty. I just have a slew of different feelings and emotions.
I think what's most upsetting is the fact that I'm usually a quick healer and this is really going to be a test on my patience and determination. That's scary. I have to really keep myself from getting into a funk and having frequent pity parties. I have to just come to terms that it's going to take time but in the end it'll all be worth it.
I have been searching for answers for a VERY long time and I have finally received them. And the info keeps coming. And it's getting more and more depressing the more I learn.
I have always had a feeling that besides the water retention, I was gaining weight much quicker than I should be. I hated saying that because I didn't want to be seen as someone that is in denial of their actions. I know I eat like crap and I eat a lot and I don't exercise...I'm not blind. But...I will gain 14 lbs in a week just like that and I have gained over 100 lbs in a year more than once. That is just...A LOT. I mean, seriously, I don't gorge or eat obscene amounts of food everyday. Sure, some weeks are better than others. But...really?! Is that normal??
I don't know...maybe I am blind to my own actions. But, I really don't think I am.
The last several weeks have been pretty exciting for me because my long search for answers has come to an end.
I have been diagnosed with Lipolymphedema. Initially, it was Lymphedema, but upon further examination and appointments, it has been changed to Lipedema with secondary Lymphedema. At first I thought the Lipedema diagnosis was just a different label because of the criteria I fall under...meaning, I'm not a cancer patient, the retention involves both legs, I bruise easily and I am sensitive to touch. Which all of that is true. But, what I didn't understand until this weekend was that Lipedema effects something totally different than Lymphedema.
"Lipedema is a chronic metabolic disorder of the fatty tissue, of unknown cause, and is marked by a bilateral and symmetrical swelling of the lower extremities, caused by extensive deposits of fatty tissue."
In other words...I have a nice 10 year long collection of fat from my hips down that is stubborn to move and has beat up my lymphatic system causing the Lymphedema to rear it's ugly head and add water to the collection. Yay me. 😩 Think of it like this... my lower body is a bank that will accept deposits but doesn't give out withdrawals.
Lipedema can affect any sized person, it's primarily seen in women and is believed to be associated with hormones or genetics. Which makes sense as to why it appeared when I was pregnant with Sydney...my hormones were all over the place. My diet certainly hasn't helped the condition, but it isn't the main factor. So my assumptions were accurate when I felt there was something else "helping" me gain weight.
Another thing I learned is that diet and exercise are not effective methods to get rid of the accumulated fatty tissue. Wonderful. Because of this, the patients that have Lipedema get discouraged with the lack of results that appear after trying to lose the weight the usual way. Which could lead to depression, becoming more sedentary and gaining more weight worsening the problem. That would be ME. 😖 Whenever I lose weight it is usually most noticeable in my upper body and I get frustrated when my legs aren't showing the results I want. Plus...the extra weight and lack of mobility in my lower body really wear on me. Try walking with your thighs tied together, that's what it's like for me. Or...strap about 3-4 jugs of water on your legs and go up stairs. IT SUCKS!!
The most frustrating part is that fact that not much is known about this disease because it's often seen as obesity and it's the patient's fault for their condition. It took TEN years of complaining and not being heard, yet I was still only diagnosed merely by a series of unrelated problems. I threw out my back, was referred to a Physical Therapist which happened to work alongside a Lymphedema specialist and after hearing my complaints suggested I see that specialist too. I met the right people finally. My doctor is very open minded and shows genuine concern for my health so he is on board for anything. However, his initial treatment, just like all the other doctors, was to address the obesity. Which, honestly, I can't get too upset about because that's exactly what stands out and it's hard to look past 400+ lbs of awesomeness. So...I guess it was a great thing that I threw out my back. Thank goodness for dirty toilets and showers!! Right?
Now...all of this medical explanation aside...how am I doing emotionally with all of this new news and much anticipated diagnosis?
I am a mess. I am feeling defeated. I am frustrated with the wraps and the little progress they're making. I am overwhelmed with the fact that this is a lifelong process. There is no cure. All of the fat that has accumulated over the years is going to be SO HARD to get rid of...IF it ever goes away. All of the hopes and dreams that I've had to have a normal sized body...to fit into normal sized spaces and be able to move like I used to, just seems out of reach now. I am getting a massaging machine and some customized support hose which will hopefully work better than these wraps.
After I started reading more about Lipedema, the flood of emotion came over me like a ton of bricks. I've had an emotional, ugly cry breakdown more than once. Poor Mike was like a deer in headlights, not knowing how to respond. All I need is just hugs at this point. I'm really trying to stay positive, but it's hard. And, I keep thinking how petty I am. There are people that are missing limbs or are paralyzed...or any of those other awful diseases and here I am upset about some extra fat that won't move. How petty. I just have a slew of different feelings and emotions.
I think what's most upsetting is the fact that I'm usually a quick healer and this is really going to be a test on my patience and determination. That's scary. I have to really keep myself from getting into a funk and having frequent pity parties. I have to just come to terms that it's going to take time but in the end it'll all be worth it.
Wednesday, April 26, 2017
Drowning In My Own Body
Water retention! UGH! My nightmare for over a decade!! For 10 years I've known that there was something else wrong with my body that the doctors weren't addressing or seeing. And, sure enough... Lymphedema. When I walk into any doctors office, the first thing they see is a morbidly obese woman. Understandably. However...please look past that and LISTEN TO ME!! Listen to me when I say...at every appointment...that my main issue, the main reason why I have such a hard time losing weight and getting motivated is the fact that my hips, butt and legs feel like BRICKS...blown up, tight, unflexible bags of cement. Try lugging that around everywhere. Try lifting those up stairs or into a car. I get it...I get that I am obese. I get that I need to lose weight. But...PLEASE help me when I tell you that this water retention is pissing me off! And quit popping me with water pills...they obviously aren't doing the trick.
When I got pregnant with Sydney, I was already over 300 lbs. Needless to say my health was a main concern. Everyone was worried about me and rightfully so. It was a MISERABLE pregnancy. I had all kinds of issues from the get go. During the first trimester, my whole body blew up with fluid. I couldn't even bend my knee back to sit on my leg on the couch (if you can visualize that). I felt like a blown up water balloon wobbling around like a penguin. It was so bad that when I scratched my leg it would ooze water. NO JOKE! It would come out like a steady flow to the point that we had to get a rag to stop it. And, I just recently found out that the oozing of water is called "Weeping" a sure sign of Lymphedema. So it started way back then. And, not only did I suffer from that my whole pregnancy, but I was also diagnosed with Sleep Apnea during the second trimester. So on top of being physically unable to move, I had to learn how to sleep with a stupid mask on my face. I HATE things on my face! I had anxiety trying to get used to that thing. My nose was always stuffed up, so I would breathe through my mouth most of the time. The mask covered my nose and mouth thankfully, but getting past the 'feeling of suffocating' was difficult. I asked my doctor for something to calm my nerves, but with being pregnant, the only thing he could suggest was taking Benedryl. Luckily that helped. From that point on, I had to sleep in a recliner. Which I ending up breaking down several of our reclining chairs in our sectional sofa during that time...those springs can only withstand a constant weight of over 300 lbs on the springs for so long. lol. Now...onto the third trimester...let's see what else I can get. How about...Gestational Diabetes?? Why not. I love a challenge. So, I dealt with that too. Poking my fingertips every couple of hours to check my blood sugar, eating a restricted diet for the rest of the time. I managed...barely. But, unfortunately that Gestational Diabetes turned into Type 2 Diabetes after Sydney was born. Yay me.
After I had Sydney, I expected my swelled up legs to go back to normal. Well, they didn't. I talked to my doctor and she gave me a water pill. Ok. We'll try that. Nothing. Other than peeing every 5 minutes. Years pass by...still nothing. A new doctor. Same complaint and pleading to help me get rid of this water retention. New pill?? Sure. Why not. Nothing. More peeing. By this point I am searching for anything that might give me some relief. Everything that helps ends up being temporary. Let me just tell you how much this affects my mood, my desire to do anything outside of the home. I am exhausted just thinking about walking around with these dead weights. It's so frustrating. 10 years. 10 years of this crap. I have missed out on so many things while my kids were little because it was so draining to move. Makes me mad!
But, I am pleased to say that I am FINALLY seeing a light at the end of the tunnel! By mistake actually. I was doing normal chores and I threw out my lower back. Earlier that week I had done a lot of housework that was hard on my back and it caught up with me. I was down for the count for quite a while. I went to my doctor and he directed me to start seeing a Physical Therapist. I went to see her and explained my issues and also told her about my water retention and how that makes it hard for me to get a good range of motion and be active. She asked if I had ever seen a Lymphedema specialist. 'Uhhh..no. What is that?' So, she sent in a request to my doctor for me to get a consult with one and he then signed off on it. Thankfully.
I went to see the Lymphedema specialist and we talked about everything that I have been going through for the past 10 years and she confirmed that I have had Lymphedema since my pregnancy with Sydney. She explained that we have lymph nodes in our body to help regulate and move fluid around to flush out waste and toxins and such. And, the lymph nodes in my groin area no longer function so that messes up my lymphatic system and therefore pools fluid in my lower body. There is no cure, there is only treatment to reduce the retention and redirect the flow to the functioning lymph nodes. That is what we're doing now.
The treatment that I am going through to flush out the fluid that has built up over the past 10 years is called wrapping. There is also a special massage that's done beforehand to stimulate the lymphatic system and open up the passageways and redirect the flow. It's trial and error right now. We're watching the progress and making adjustments as needed. Currently I have one leg wrapped thigh high and the other wrapped knee high. She doesn't want to overwhelm the working lymph nodes. I am already seeing a lot of progress, especially in my feet, ankles and lower legs. I am feeling the affects of it too. Which is SUPER exciting and tremendously helps my state of mind. Right now it's hard to address the areas above my lower thigh because of mobility, so a compression garment will be needed for that. There is also a special compression massaging device ($5000-$7000 😨) that we will be buying to use at home. This will cover my entire leg, hips, butt and trunk area. I put it on...an hour for each leg and side of the body. There are chambers within the device that inflate and deflate all up and down which creates a wave like movement to stimulate and flush fluid out. It's actually very relaxing and feels so good to feel things moving.
There is a lot of extra attention that is needed right now just to get my body to a level of focusing on only maintenance and keeping things as normal as possible. I will forever be in support hose to keep a constant compression on my lower body.
As tiresome and awkward and restricting as this is, I am still so grateful for it. I can't express enough how relieved I am to see and feel progress. I am so blessed to have the professionals available to treat my condition and thankful to have finally come across the individuals to look past the obese woman and address the problem. Not to mention a husband that has turned into my home nurse to take care of me during off hours. He is a saint...helping me with my Physical Therapy stretches and the massage and wrapping needed for my legs.
I am so excited to see what the each month will bring with the steady and forward progress I'm already experiencing. I'm getting my freedom back! No more drowning and being a prisoner in my own body.
When I got pregnant with Sydney, I was already over 300 lbs. Needless to say my health was a main concern. Everyone was worried about me and rightfully so. It was a MISERABLE pregnancy. I had all kinds of issues from the get go. During the first trimester, my whole body blew up with fluid. I couldn't even bend my knee back to sit on my leg on the couch (if you can visualize that). I felt like a blown up water balloon wobbling around like a penguin. It was so bad that when I scratched my leg it would ooze water. NO JOKE! It would come out like a steady flow to the point that we had to get a rag to stop it. And, I just recently found out that the oozing of water is called "Weeping" a sure sign of Lymphedema. So it started way back then. And, not only did I suffer from that my whole pregnancy, but I was also diagnosed with Sleep Apnea during the second trimester. So on top of being physically unable to move, I had to learn how to sleep with a stupid mask on my face. I HATE things on my face! I had anxiety trying to get used to that thing. My nose was always stuffed up, so I would breathe through my mouth most of the time. The mask covered my nose and mouth thankfully, but getting past the 'feeling of suffocating' was difficult. I asked my doctor for something to calm my nerves, but with being pregnant, the only thing he could suggest was taking Benedryl. Luckily that helped. From that point on, I had to sleep in a recliner. Which I ending up breaking down several of our reclining chairs in our sectional sofa during that time...those springs can only withstand a constant weight of over 300 lbs on the springs for so long. lol. Now...onto the third trimester...let's see what else I can get. How about...Gestational Diabetes?? Why not. I love a challenge. So, I dealt with that too. Poking my fingertips every couple of hours to check my blood sugar, eating a restricted diet for the rest of the time. I managed...barely. But, unfortunately that Gestational Diabetes turned into Type 2 Diabetes after Sydney was born. Yay me.
After I had Sydney, I expected my swelled up legs to go back to normal. Well, they didn't. I talked to my doctor and she gave me a water pill. Ok. We'll try that. Nothing. Other than peeing every 5 minutes. Years pass by...still nothing. A new doctor. Same complaint and pleading to help me get rid of this water retention. New pill?? Sure. Why not. Nothing. More peeing. By this point I am searching for anything that might give me some relief. Everything that helps ends up being temporary. Let me just tell you how much this affects my mood, my desire to do anything outside of the home. I am exhausted just thinking about walking around with these dead weights. It's so frustrating. 10 years. 10 years of this crap. I have missed out on so many things while my kids were little because it was so draining to move. Makes me mad!
But, I am pleased to say that I am FINALLY seeing a light at the end of the tunnel! By mistake actually. I was doing normal chores and I threw out my lower back. Earlier that week I had done a lot of housework that was hard on my back and it caught up with me. I was down for the count for quite a while. I went to my doctor and he directed me to start seeing a Physical Therapist. I went to see her and explained my issues and also told her about my water retention and how that makes it hard for me to get a good range of motion and be active. She asked if I had ever seen a Lymphedema specialist. 'Uhhh..no. What is that?' So, she sent in a request to my doctor for me to get a consult with one and he then signed off on it. Thankfully.
I went to see the Lymphedema specialist and we talked about everything that I have been going through for the past 10 years and she confirmed that I have had Lymphedema since my pregnancy with Sydney. She explained that we have lymph nodes in our body to help regulate and move fluid around to flush out waste and toxins and such. And, the lymph nodes in my groin area no longer function so that messes up my lymphatic system and therefore pools fluid in my lower body. There is no cure, there is only treatment to reduce the retention and redirect the flow to the functioning lymph nodes. That is what we're doing now.
There is a lot of extra attention that is needed right now just to get my body to a level of focusing on only maintenance and keeping things as normal as possible. I will forever be in support hose to keep a constant compression on my lower body.
As tiresome and awkward and restricting as this is, I am still so grateful for it. I can't express enough how relieved I am to see and feel progress. I am so blessed to have the professionals available to treat my condition and thankful to have finally come across the individuals to look past the obese woman and address the problem. Not to mention a husband that has turned into my home nurse to take care of me during off hours. He is a saint...helping me with my Physical Therapy stretches and the massage and wrapping needed for my legs.
I am so excited to see what the each month will bring with the steady and forward progress I'm already experiencing. I'm getting my freedom back! No more drowning and being a prisoner in my own body.
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